User blog:GravityMan/MBOHS Season 3 Episode 4: Thor vs John Henry
This was originally going to be another battle, but this one I finished before the other one so whatever. Also Tourney stuff. So ye. ... Yeeee! Hype! Today we got hammer wielding Viking who died beating their bane versus hammer wielding American folk tale who died beating their bane! Yeah! Beat Starts at 0:30 Lyrics Thor: Boom, crack! In a flash, Odinsson is here to rumble, Rhymes like ice giants to reduce this deuce into a puddle I am a legend living large, kicking puny pygmies into fire, While even your tale’s plot is about you becoming expired! Ho! Marvel at my legacy, Disney profits off of Thor, Compared to what they gave you, you are coming up short! Boom! “But the white man took my job,” why thy nigga please, If it was not for them, you would be still working for free! John Henry: I bite iron, bare down, against the mountain of a man before me, Who can bore a score of holes through Thor? Railroad Workers: HIS NAME IS JOHN HENRY! John Henry: I grab my hammer, start railin’ on this failure of a landlord, This won’t be the first time you lost America for your Norse Smash your beer gourd open, the god of thunder stumbles after drizzles, You’re more smashed than your nose, your tool limp and fizzle While I’m rippin’ up the track, paid to put it in its place Break a Ragnarok and you’ll run in fear from my snake Thor: I go Berserk on that verse, you can’t crack me when I’m boulder My rap is such a beast I outta wrap it ‘round my shoulders! My meeting to this inferior being reminds me of Freya’s cheating My lightning is a troll’s bane, so you best be fleeing John Henry: Shut your trap Mackle-Thor, you know jack about the hammer You’re showin’ for Odin, but really you’re just Loki’s janitor Thor: Loki is the family leech, washed away when I make it rain I got this battle like your forefathers; owned in chains! John Henry: A slave to slave jokes? Fine! I wash the floor of Thor, Served you, like any one of your familiars and whores! You’re familiar with war but also with your sister’s brassiere Get out of the way, the steel-driver never needed to steer You were sent to battle several devils with a fiery axe, They took it to your sacred oak, and you just stood back! I’m forever in the lyrics, my spirit in the statues sweating with the shirt splayed You’re immortalized on the calendar but everyone works through Thursday! Thor: I thought we kept this Civil, Right, then you made a joke about the oak, I’ll drop my furry undergarments and bestow another Movement on your folk Then I’ll fuck your woman in the ass, conqueror two pussies with a thrust, Roll her with Mjolnir ‘cause the legend says the hammer ended this fuck! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! MYTHICAL a bolt of lightning zig zags through it BATTLES OF HISTORICAL SHIIIIT ' ' Poll Who Won? Thor John Henry Hint for the Next Battle (coming soon) Which battle do you want to happen next? Obscure battle that may feature a character from Moana A semi-popular team battle suggestion Category:Blog posts